It Keeps on Getting Better

And after getting past the lethal interrogation with my pops, I am finally winding down the road to Biñan, Laguna.


Yes, I am starting the semestral break with a series of parties and whatever-you-may-call-it...


I arrived at Choy's house at around 4:30 pm and I am all heightened up! Anyway, my dad is unexpectedly in the mood for a powertrip and so when I was about to leave the car, he addressed Choy and said, "O, ikaw na muna bahala sa baby ko ha?" Would you imagine him calling me by that name? Well, it was pretty hilarious and very funny since in the past few months, I was not able to spend time with my dad because of eternal schoolworks and of course, the distance.

And so, when I entered their house, I was transformed to my 4-year old self seeing Jollibee for the first time. (Yuuuuh, batang Chicken Joy ako) Being the ultimate vagrant (sorry for the exaggeration), I was dumbfounded by the look of their house. I'm absolutely poor at estimations but I can say that it's twice or more of ours. The interior is so elegughnt and organized. And for that, ka chow! (I hope I quoted Lightning McQueen pretty well.)

Moving on, I was surprised to see a lot of my friends who have already arrived at the place who were playing, tantararan... UNO! (surprisingly, not Mafia or Bluff) After some time, we finally decided to get ourselves fixed up. Choy's mom is very very kind and funny and we are so thankful for letting us ruin their house for the night, and yeah, for the next morning, I guess. My dear Ings, thank you for bringing the ever reliable make-up and fixing this damsel in distress look much to the best of your ability. Of course, no matter how few we are as compared to the guys, we, the ever elegughnt females will definitely take time in dressing up. Yells and call outs downstairs are being thrown and finally, we are ready. And here we are posing at the steps, give way for the PAMILYA ALCANTARA (yes, I am quoting you, Alyanna :)

When we arrived at the venue, Gianne, Ron and Jamie were already there and so the shutter is on fire.
See the attached photos below. We had a blast while taking them.

When the program finally started, dude, I am an official lesbo for the night. Karlalalalala is beyond gorgeous - parang diyosang bumaba sa lupa, yes, you got the picture.
Her appearance was based from Beauty and the Beast's Belle :DDD

this is what i talk about when I say beyond gorgeous

the silhouette is damn amazing

The program went out traditionally and there are outbursts of laughter and tears all throughout. Of course, our vanity shall never be neglected.

This is us...

finally snatching the awesome-st girl for a picture

reliving Alsbeth's legacy

this is me I shall say, being one of the boys

spending another amazing night with our beloved mommy

being La Mafia de Famiglia 

Well, the above pretty sums it all up... We had a blast, that's for sure.

And so, the after party commences. The curtain has been opened for Jose Cuervo and my allergy flashes a big NO. And so, my dear coke, I'm all yours tonight.

Moreover, my monthly visitor chose the most suitable date to surprise me of all time. So long, dear pool. Anyway, it was not an ultimate disappointment since I have my drinking buddies inside the room. And in all the proper places, we are studying for Math 100. Guys, good luck for the removals, you have known all the concepts by heart. GORA!!!

Along the course of our struggle to finish the prob set, people come and go inside the room and it was like Toxic all over again. I shall mention you, my dear friend Roland. For the second time, we are on the spectator's seat, watching out for another wasted soul. Five questions away from the last number, the little guy presented a little surprise. Ings, you are very lucky to have put your bag in the right place and in the right time. God, Roland, you were so helpless! Funny thing, you don't remember anything the following morning, good for you, very terrible for us. :)

and this is our Prince Charming

Anyway, I was able to get sleep for an hour when I hear this annoyingly noisy people! Ings and Ian, thanks a lot :) Anyway, Ings, *tap tap* you'll be fine :)

We woke up at around 5:30 and I brushed my teeth and ate pan de sal, so yummmmeeeeh! We fixed our wasted faces and finally time for goodbyes. Karlalalalalalala, we are terribly sorry for all the trouble but I hope, you also enjoyed this day, despite the hustle and bustle. We are very thankful to your parents as well and we apologized to your friends if we have caused any misunderstanding and the likes.

And so, the trip to Choy's house commenced again. I have no sense of direction and as expected, we have rounded the whole subdivision before reaching his house. Jamie's trike had a flat tire and luckily  (*insert sarcasm sign here*), Roland and Kevin, the two wasted souls were inside, kawawa naman si Kuyang Driver!

Anyway, as long as we entered Choy's house... knockdown!

eheheheheheehehe. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

and so this is what you call sleep bullying

dahan dahan, baka magkawaterfalls na dyan mamaya

hi Richa, kasama mo na ba si ______ sa dreamland?

"haaaaay... ang lambot ng kama, sana kasama ko si _______"

sleep bullying part 2

Sadly, I have to be fetched up early because my Dad have some matters in Alabang. This was my last picture with the craziest people. God, they will be terribly missed!

This was just the beginning of my semestral break and it's telling me, "It'll keep on getting better". I 

hope to had another chill time with these guys and hopefully, it would be before the start of the next semester.

Still, a lot of unexpected things happened last night, but everything's a part of it. Everything's worth it.

Confessions, lies, dramas, bonds and tears, this is how we roll, and to this we raise our glass,

Cheers to the teenage years! 

Dropping the bomb

GOD I HATE SURPRISES.

No, seriously, I don't. I'm thrilled by it. I hate spoilers as a matter of fact, especially when it comes to movies. But when it comes to real life, dropping the bomb in front of my face without prior notice, I AM HYPERVENTILATING!

I don't know if it's just the liquor that gave you the initiative to activate the bomb, but I was terrified... mortified... petrified... stupefied... by you! (quoting John Nash from A Beautiful Mind if you would remember) teeheehee. But I was glad to know that you are aware that I am not the to-be-rushed type. But the question really bothered me. Until now. (obviously, I was writing about it now) And I don't know if I have given you a clear answer for that last night.

For now, definitely, I am not ready for commitments and yes, my target is when I get to med school. You are my friend. Seriously, I consider you as a very close and good friend. And whenever I think that one of us has something for the other, it's hard. it's awkward. (I can hear your sorry right now). I wanted the friendship to continue, that's one thing I never want to lose.

Of course I can't tell you to stop whatever you have and also I am reminding you to never close your door to any other person. There are a lot of other people out there to consider 'kay? Ayoko lang talaga na may naghihintay. Ayoko ng nagpapaasa.


I'm not telling that there isn't a tiny bit of chance but seriously, I only treat you as a friend, for now. We wouldn't know what would it be in the future, but for now, let us stay on what we are with each other.

But I must admit, what you asked last night just made it harder and more awkward. So I will apologize in advance for my inappropriate behavior whenever we are left alone together. It's awkward, seriously, you must also admit! :)

Moreover, I'll be blunt, are you in your normal self last night? Dude, I am being smashed between being scared and hysterical. I was laughing with what you are doing and still, petrified with your intentions. If you will remember, you just suddenly flashed your hands in front of me, and left me hanging on a question of a dirt on my nose or something inappropriate in my face. Then you'll just grab your face and say sorry while shaking your head. Damn man, you're pretty scary but it's foine. And not to forget, you are my third man hug! God, if this continues, I won't be able to save for HIM! (yeah, remember the virtual man in the blog) But nevermind, it's a friendly hug. And seriously, are you pretty sleepy last night eh? You kept on resting on my shoulder! I'm not saying that I prohibit you from doing that, but, I think, it's pretty awkward??? Oh, God I am terribly sorry for all of these things.

But you know, it's actually hard. Imagine knowing someone has something for you, and they get touchy (hmmm, not the right word, but I can't find the right one now. Well, you already know what I mean) all of the sudden like those mentioned above, it's pretty inconvenient right??? As opposed to, imagine a plain, definitely, close friend, lying her head on your shoulder, without malice, it's rather okay, I think? Oh God, I am terrible at explaining things. So sorry.

But Dude, so everything will just be in order, I'll just consider the effect of alcohol last night, so, after all, no worries. :)))

Anyway, thanks for a great night and yeah, I've pretty much said all of it for now. I hope you'll consider and understand. I am terribly sorry for anything that will be blunt but I guess, it's better. Till then. :D

Devirginized by Calle Sirocco

I definitely caught your attention with that flashing title eh?

So then, yesterday was my first real bar experience. We had a blast with this Bio sem-ender party: TOXIC: IN VIVO. And after last night, I am not a virgin anymore - (not that thing circling 'round your head but...) from real college parties.

People get wasted, try to be wasted, pretend to be wasted, and some are to begin with, ALREADY WASTED.

Being the mindful type, seeing my friends before going to the party, I see myself as a little OVERDRESSED which is definitely not what I want to leave as an impression. Apparently, when we arrived at the venue (and mind you, we are FASHIONABLY LATE as Ings will quote), screw the outfit, nobody cares what crap you wear! We are all here to get tanked up!

And so it began, the awkward first 30 minutes of the party. And all I can say is that I'M FREAKIN' HUNGREEEEH! I should've grabbed something before going there but I must have drowned from too much excitement. Anyway, I love the neon bracelets. PURPLEEEE!

The pro drinkers, yes, they are already lined up in the war zone. And here we are, either flashing the red sign with our right hand or the no-no with the conventional head shake. But I have been thinking (disregarding my sorta promise to my dad that I will not drink), I shall have a shot of something strong. I must not let the P450.00 go to waste without the experience.

After finding seats, we then went to the photo booth (calling the attention of Miss Stephanie Nathy Catindig and Miss? Cyndi Biendima) and yes we definitely crashed that poor thing. Going once... going twice... eee... Error. But after minutes of relentless poses, we finally got our pics.

So what now... What else do you do in a bar (just go with the flow dear, yes, still a virgin) - you curse your friggin shoes and wish that you have chosen comfort over vanity! I love the dance floor but my feet says an explicit NO! and here I am, bonding with a glass of melting ice, the slightly rocking chair, and the lonesome table. Anyway, I got my chance to rap ♫ my, my, my, my you're a Pelican fly ♫ and dance a while ago and yes, ♫ it feeeeels so gooood! ♫ 

So I'll just probably rest... and still I am hungry. Luckily, we are situated near the kitchen so dear food - you are so ours! :D But the pastas were not served, much too my dismay. Anyway, after tiring ourselves from the dancefloor, we are now in the green zone. Fortunately, I have my good girl (if you will insist) buddy, Ings, who is not a drinker as well and yes, we will have a shot, so Roms hit it! I don't actually know what she gave us but it was actually strong but I can handle it. In the end, I had two shots, and we are already a little tipsy. What do you say about high tol? Sadly, my dear friend is the Cinderella-ish type so she left at 12:00 am and I was left to stay with my other good girl buddy, hi Steph :)

Since my shoes have surrendered from the battle, I have no option but to stay seated. But it's foine actually, my party mood had just landslided and I was stuck to take care of the two monkeys. :))

Nevertheless, I must commend the tunggera of the night, Miss Biendima, HAIL BEER QUEEN!

And so, I have been the babysitter of two wasted folks. It was definitely tiring yet hilarious to listen to their rants and speeches and I must thank you for actually spilling drinks on my dress. You just got the jackpot, my dear (anyway, I accept your apologies so no worries).

Fortunately, all of them have recovered even a partial of their normal selves when we got home but they are still SABOG! Sabog talaga kung sabog! 

But I was pleased to actually witness, different kinds of people under the influence of the ever mighty alcohol. Some are

In denial - "Hindi pa ako lashing!"
Persuasive - "Patingin lang nyan. Dali na! (puppy dog eyes)"
Machine Gun - "Hindi ko talaga matanggap na binigay nila saken to. Ngayon matatanggap ko pa na sabog ako. Pero kanina, di pa talaga ako sabog e. Pero ngayon medyo sabog na nga ako."
Bold - "________, I love you!"
Physical - (they grab you in the head and shake it till you drop. O God, that is freakin annoying and hilarious at the same time, I swear!)
Sentimental - "Bro, wag mong papakawalan yung girlfriend mo ha?"
Groover - (I guess, it was self explanatory, but take note that it is the "drunken type of groove"
Mimes - (they will just flash their hands in front of you, closer, closer and leaving you in an awkward situation with the question of what to do)

and I guess, my list is definitely not complete but these are all fun to watch. It leaves me the question of what would I be when it's my turn to get wasted.

We'll get into that someday. But I guess, the normal me, is so much worse than being wasted so what's the thrill?

Talking on the way home of the insanities said and done, we all can't help but laugh at ourselves. The course have devoured us and this is our terrible yet satisfying escape from it -  a total detox. No one could blame us. "Sorry's" and "Thank You's" are of course indispensable but we'll get used to that later on. As I say, this was the first time.

At the end of the night, good girl buddy, have we already gone bad? Well, I guess, we're not even on the verge of it. But let's just keep it as that for now.

Party girl? Naah. Well, actually, depends on your definition of "party". But did I have fun? More than you'll ever think of. Next year, I shall save the date for another night of breaking out.

Two shots made me tipsy, one night just devirginized me. Still 17, but who cares? My first real bar experience.
Waking up from that night and seeing my reflection at the mirror. I can't help myself from laughing at myself - ALLERGIES! hello, dear friend, I am so weak!

Well I guess, no more drinks for me. ever. again.

WIsh You Were Here

8:00 in the evening, I was strolling around Rob Manila for a gift for my friend.

While asking the sales attendant if they have anything I want, my phone suddenly rang. I wonder who would call at such hour.

When I picked up, I realized it was my mom.

I was surprised with what I heard.

Her voice, her mood was different, her calmness was gone.

She had just recently underwent an operation that removed her uterus. She had myoma (uterine fibroids) which are, fortunately, benign. She acquired it after my birth. It torments me to realize that I am actually the one to blame for that. You might say that I did not intend for it to happen, but come to think of it. If I were not born, she may not have acquired it.

I know a considerable percentage of women obtain this illness and they are very curable. However, the mistake of my parents probably was not giving apt attention to it. Imagine, for 17 years, my mom had been carrying it with her. The pain had just resurfaced three or two years ago and she had the operation just now.

Hearing her voice...

just kept me wanting to break down. 

I just don't want to tear up in front of many people and most of all, I don't want to be the source of her weakness. I want for her to keep hold of us. I want all of us to be her strength. At the end of the call, I managed to hold back my tears.

I WISH WE WERE THERE....

that we can hold her tight while saying everything will be alright.

SHE IS IN PAIN.

I miss her cracking laughter. No matter how many pain killers she take, it would not ease everything. If I could just hold her really tight right now. I would. Sorry for the drama but I miss her.

When I was young, she was always there to wipe my tears, hold my hand, kiss my forehead when things are messed up.

Now that she needs us, where are we?

Several miles away, visualized at the end of the telephone line.

FUCK DISTANCE.

I went to church earlier and my entire prayer was about her. Please, God, make her feel better, comfort her, send our love to her.

I know she will be fine. She is strong. We'll get past through this.

I JUST LOVE YOU MOM. AND I MISS YOU MORE THAN I CAN SAY.

Please be fine. Everything will be alright. 

*and yes, now, I am breaking down*

I was reading my previous blogs. WAY WAY BACK... and I could not stop myself from laughing.

I dunno why I was brought in here but maybe, I just wanted some escape from school stuff.

So what I did was laughed my heart out from my previous posts.

I have fail writing skills. Until now. I am very sorry for that.

Anyway, I have hibernated for too long and as usual, I am dealing with my messy head.

I just wanted to highlight the day by bringing up my first ever HARRY POTTER QUIZ BEE!!!

It is MY first since I was not able to attend the previous one... because of classes. Damn that lab. But not the professor. I love Miss Jassy, I must emphasize that!

Anyway, I was supposed to just stay at dorm since I have no company. But then, at around 5 which is one hour late from the call time, Cyndi (my blockmate) texted me (actually it was a group message) asking for the position of our other blockmates.

And the ray of hope dawned upon me.

YES!!! I can watch the quiz bee. (I have no intention of joining actually because I have already forgotten most of the must-know stuff. I hate it because 4 years ago, I can recite all the characters and spells right in your face. I must brag about that since I cannot do it now. Okay?)

Then I was really really really excited for the questions although I could not answer most of them. But before the second round, they showed some clips regarding the last film. I'm like close to tears because I do not want this to end. I never wanted my childhood to end.

Others may say that we are overreacting, but I daresay that Harry Potter, whether the film, the movie or anything that goes with it, have held a very special place in our heart. Something that will never wither nor die and it is very very hard to accept that something you treasure the most will suddenly end.

Of course, we will be able to watch it or read it now and then but we will miss the hunger, the longing for knowing what will happen next. The story have brought us in dimensions we could have never possibly imagined, and something we have never expected our hearts will be very attached to.

Anyway, I am very carried away. So back to the story. I AM SO IMPRESSED with ate Keish' team during the final round because they answered almost half of the questions, garnering around 700 points!!! Hail (with arm movements!)

All in all, it was enjoying, but I wanted to watch an epic spell duel!!! which was something I missed from last year. Moreover, even if I haven't answered almost all the questions, I am still a Harry Potter fan at heart and we will never leave them, all the characters and all the wonders they have brought to us, behind.

I will watch the last film on Friday (I do not know if I will be able to drag my feet to the theater. But I very much have the picture of me staring at the screen at the end of the film.)

This, as they say, is the epic ending.

But they will live forever. That is a promise.

Once a Potterhead, always be a Potterhead. Thanks for my childhood and everything.

P.S.

Diego, could you please make me some wands???? Please???!

HOY IKAW

Since I have been talking about love earlier

(and sorry for the typos before and will-be-typos in this post)

even with my slightly drowsy mind right now...

I wanted to make a continuation

TANTANANAN!

to whom I want to fall inlove with (o gumaganon)

Syempre, since wala namang kakaiba saken *teka nga, intermission lang. nadidistract ako sa pusang nagwawala samen. naaalala ko si Sir ___________. hahaha. tawa na lang*

Anyway, since isa lang ako sa mga normal na babae sa mundo, typical na lalake din lang ang gusto ko.

Hindi ko man sabihin na hindi ako tumitingin sa itsura, medyo basehan pa rin talaga siya diba.

Pero mas gusto ko, yung super close friends kami. Lagi nga akong nagwiwish na sana meron din ako nung childhood friend, tapos best friend kami at later on. lovers and best friends pa din.

ohh yeah. i wish.

pero wala e. eto ang reyalidad.

tuwing nagbabasa ako ng libro, manga o kung ano man tungkol dun, una ang saya saya ko. tapos malulungkot din ako. kasi nakakainggit. buti pa sila, kahit hindi totoo, atleast masaya.

pero mas okay na rin na ganito, atleast totoo.

so ayun nga. mga 20% physical features siguro.

syempre, gentleman at mabait.

hindi seloso.

matalino.

and it goes on and on and on. *dynamite* =D

oo nga, typical girl with the typical type kaya hahaba lang yung list na yan at ayoko na ring isulat kasi halos lahat na ng positive attitude ng isang tao, makakasama dyan.

pero higit sa lahat. gusto ko lang, masaya kami pag magkasama. YUN LANG.

haha.. napakasimple-minded ko talaga..

ay ewan.

sige na. ang post na ito ay walang kabuluhan. wala ring kabuluhan ang isip ko ngayon..

basta ako'y kinikilig pa rin sa binabasa ko at sana isang araw, maramdaman ko rin yon galing sa isang tao. SA NGAYON, in love ako dahil wala lang. at in love ako sa isang virtual person.

love-deprived ba? ewan ko.

pero, if ever, may mabulag man saken

*rason kung bakit sila tanga*

- hindi po ako maganda excuse me.

- wala akong special talents (kundi humalakhak)

- CLUMSY AKO. AS IN CLUTZ talaga!

- kadalasan ay bangag ako

- hindi ako masyadong sociable

- at simple lang talaga ko. never akong umaangat sa iba.

kumbaga sa isang anime series, filler lang ako.

sa isang film, extra na nga ako, kuko ko pa yung exposed

sa buong solar system, quark lang ako.

in short, HINDI MO TALAGA AKO MAPAPANSIN...

pero yun nga. if ever man.

di man siya ang first love ko, ito ang 3 ultimate vows ko:

- siya ang first and last husband ko

- siya ang best friend ko

- siya ang first and last kiss ko

basta halos lahat ng first and last ko, gusto ko, sa kanya.

engot ba ko?

haha. natatawa nga ako minsan kasi kahit simpleng hawak sa kamay, or hug. ayokong ibigay sa mga lalake kong kaibigan. hahaha. pati ba naman yun.

ay ewan. hanggang ngayon. sobrang vague pa rin ng magiging future ko tungkol dito. Pero naniniwala pa rin ako, someday, makikilala ko rin siya.

OUR LOVE WILL BE SPECIAL DESPITE IMPERFECTIONS.

Hi, kung nasan ka man, kung ano man ginagawa mo ngayon. OO NA, AKO NA ANG HOPELESS ROMANTIC. pero kinikilig nga ako sayo ngayon e. pero kung dadating ka man o ano (please dumating ka! please naman, wag mo kong paasahin), alam ko, magiging masaya tayo sa isa't isa.

PERO SA NGAYON, ANG TANGING LOVE KO LANG AY

ANG PAGTULOG. HELLO SLEEP. =DD

Ma-inlove. Pa'no ba?

okay..I've been TOOOOOOOO inactive for a very long time and

maybe, I temporarily lost interest in scribbling down how my life is up

insert strikethrough here ---->>; "probably": because of too much laziness

well, before anything else.... this blog would be about

"LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE"

yeah, you saw it just right.

I am actually not considering it for the past few months... since the end of high school. I might just shunned it up for the mean time.

maybe, I just want to get rid of it. "IT" and everything that comes with it.

After all the things that happened. I wanted to concentrate on other things. and mainly...

-STUDIES-

pretty boring, huh?

well, it is my life right now. I can't say I'm happy with it. I can't say I'm not.

But I can say, there's something missing.

{blank space. blank space. what to write next.}

okay. so then. I just read manga. a manga about romance.

It's been a while. This is the first time after a year, that I got the stream of unexplained tingling all over my body.

OO KINIKILIG AKO

kahit fictional lang sila.

I can't stop reading it because probably, I missed the feeling.

HINDI KO MAPIGILANG TUMAWA.

HINDI KO MAPIGILANG MAGBLUSH.

HINDI NA KO MAKAPAG-ISIP NG TAMA (although hindi naman talaga ako tama mag-isip =D))

EWAN KO. HINDI KO RIN MAINTINDIHAN...

SA NGAYON. GUSTO KO RING MA-INLOVE NA AYAW KO.

I don't know if I must want it for it to come, or just let it boom! surprise. I AM INLOVE.

But everyone, especially LAST FEBRUARY (head aches due to the environment) - happy couples over there, singles gathering over here, confessions, affections, resentments and NRs (I probably belong to the last group)

oops correction I must add the "slightly annoyed" group and I belong here.

But actually, I didn't know the reason of that irritation until now.

I'm envious.

OO NA, SIGE NA NGA. NAIINGGIT NA KO.

fictional characters or not. BUTI PA SILA, may lovelife.

parang gusto ko rin - ngingiti lang ako ng walang dahilan (not in a mental way)

- o kaya naman, gusto ko rin magblush paminsan minsan

- to be caught off guard

- to feel EXTRA SPECIAL

ewan ko ba. yan lang siguro ang tingin ko kapag inlove. SORRY NAMAN DIBA. KULANG SA EXPERIENCE. at sa tingin ko, ang fictional din ng mga pangyayaring yan. pero sa ngayon, parang gusto ko rin silang maramdaman.

Sa mga nakaraang buwan, lagi lang akong nakasubaybay sa kwento ng ibang tao sa paligid. Oo, masayang makinig. Parang lesson lang sa klase (except the boring ones). Nagtatake down ng notes sa mga pangyayari. Kunwari may naintindihan. Pero pag hands-on na pala, hindi na alam ang gagawin.

Kaya ayoko pa rin

kasi, hindi pa yata ako handa.

.OO NATATAKOT AKO.

SIGE NA, ako na nga ang magulo.

siguro ayoko rin kasi munang mabago ang buhay ko.

sa ngayon, di nga ako kumpleto. pero hindi pa rin siguro ngayon ang oras para "mainlove" ako.

TAMA. IMMATURE PA KO. MARAMI PA KONG HINDI ALAM.

kaya siguro. hahayaan ko na lang na mangyari ang mga bagay bagay sa mundo.

pero may isang tanong din na kinakatakot ko.

MAIINLOVE PA KAYA AKO?