- I really FREAKIN' hate this feeling
- Why do I need to SCREW UP in my last year?
- It SUCKS to feel that you are insignificant and uncapable
- It's hard to prove yourself when nobody wants to listen
YOU WANTED TO CRY BUT YOU COULDN'T
YOU WANTED TO SPEAK BUT YOU SHOULDN'T
YOU WANTED TO SPEAK BUT YOU SHOULDN'T
Do I live or just exist? or maybe a dead at all. Don't call me EMO or anything cause I'm not any of your prejudgments! How dare you speak like you know anything about me. You don't know anything. You have never known anything.
** Those are the faces of hypocrites.ungenuine.caring but fake. You don't know whom to believe **
** Those are the faces of hypocrites.ungenuine.caring but fake. You don't know whom to believe **
YES
I'm a hypocrite as well. "It's okay", "No problem", "It doesn't bother me at all", "You don't need to apologize". But damn! I'm not okay! It is HARD... and PAINFUL... to accept that nobody notices you. Nobody cares for you! I do not need to please everybody, okay. But you never had any right to degrade me. I was trying to be who I am even though sometimes, just not to hurt anybody, I lie to everyone and to myself. Could you not see my effort? I was trying to be the person you wanted to be but it was nonsense. A total bullshit.
I don't want your pity. All I need is your consideration. Your consideration that I can't be that person you expect me to be.
You know what? You always make me feel that I can't do anything. A burden. A dead load. A taint in the scene. A stain. Take a look at yourself cause I'm going to say that you're worse. Far worse than me. DAMN YOU! You don't know how much I loathed you! You may not be able to read this and when you read this, I know, you won't even react. But I'm satisfied that I can tell everyone that I abhor you. I hate you so much. I wanted to shout at your face right now how much I freakin' hate you!
I don't want your pity. All I need is your consideration. Your consideration that I can't be that person you expect me to be.
You know what? You always make me feel that I can't do anything. A burden. A dead load. A taint in the scene. A stain. Take a look at yourself cause I'm going to say that you're worse. Far worse than me. DAMN YOU! You don't know how much I loathed you! You may not be able to read this and when you read this, I know, you won't even react. But I'm satisfied that I can tell everyone that I abhor you. I hate you so much. I wanted to shout at your face right now how much I freakin' hate you!
BUT
It's much better to keep silent and only write this down. At least, nobody will know that you're suffering because it's much painful when they know it and don't care at all.
I hate myself when I am this "emo". So sorry for the blabber and all. But I'm too immature to handle this kind of stuff...
